So there is no date today. I’ve canceled it. I made no excuses. I was honest. And it was hard, but I did it.

He asked me if I was excited about our ‘date’ in which I replied I needed to speak with him on it. And after that it just sort of all came and basically told him I wanted to be friends, nothing more. And while he still wants to think there might be something in the future, I personally doubt there is just because I’m not attracted to him that way. He is a better friend, than anything else, and I think I have made the right decision.

As I was telling Sandy yesterday, I think I just liked the flirting & attention, mainly that someone who looked better than Michael thought I was attractive. I don’t really want a relationship with him. I can’t see myself being intimate with him. I can see me holding his hand, but anything else beyond that I don’t even want to think about. The only people I can imagine myself kissing is Bryan and HCB. Everytime I even try to picture me & Josh, it freaks me out.

For example, yesterday when I went to pick up my paycheck ($200.61!! Yeah buddy!) he was there waiting for me, even though he picked his up already. Once I got mine, we hung out by my car and just talked about random stuff. And then when we left, he tried to keep up with me on the freeway. I was almost seriously convinced he was going to follow me or something. I nearly had a heart-attack. It was after that I realized I am NOT into him if I’m getting freaked out like this. So I thought, and then I talked with him.

I’m feeling a lot better we’re not meeting today. It would be way too awkward for me. I mean this morning country music was playing on the radio, and I finally had to ask if we could change the station or turn it off, because one, I can’t stand country, and two, Josh loves it and it reminded me of him and he is the last person I want to think about.

Survey that I stole from Sandy…

1. Of all the bands/artists in your cd/record collection, which one do you own the most albums by?
I own 9 soundtracks that John Williams has conducted/written the scores to. He’s my favorite composer of all time! And then the next would be Charlotte Church. I own all 5 of her albums. I simply love her!

2. What was the last song you listened to (voluntarily)?
“Breakaway” - Kelly Clarkson

3. What’s on your record player right now?
In my CD player, I have “North” - by Something Corporate, and “Classics for a New Age” - by Ethereal.

4. What song would you say sums you up?
“Across the Universe” - The Beatles

5. What’s your favorite local band?
Nu-clear. Heather introduced me to them and they rawk!

6. What was the last show you attended?
The Solemite concert in San Francisco.

7. What was the greatest show you’ve ever been to?
I think the first Pizza Factory concert I went to with Heather & Matt. Both Solemite AND Nu-clear were there!

8. What’s the shittiest band you’ve ever seen in concert?
The last band that performed at the Bay Area concert I went to. They sucked so bad I looked at the menu for amusement while they played.

9. What band do you love musically but hate the members of?
I liked quite a few songs by Backstreet Boys, but the guys seriously disturbed me.

10. What is the most musically involved you have ever been?
Music pretty much rules my life. I’ve been playing some kind of instrument since I was 7, and I’ve been in band for 7 years. I’ve been involved in choir since 2nd grade, and have gone to Sugarloaf Arts Camp, participating in band & choir classes there.

11. What show are you looking forward to?
Um … nothing that I know of. Heh.

12. What is your favorite band shirt?
HAHA my UMHS Marching Sweatshirt! Naw I have none. I want Beatles shirts though!

13. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day?
I would love to hang out with Charlotte Church! She is so great!

14. What musician would you like to hump for a day?
Mmmm Josh Groban. Mmmmm.

15. Metal question-Jeans and Leather vs. Cracker
I know absolutely nothing about metal.

16. Sabbath or solo Ozzy?
Not my forte …

17. Commodores or solo Lionel Ritchie?
Um …

18. Blackjack or solo Michael Bolton?
Ew Isaidno.

19. Doesn’t Primus suck?
Huh?

20. Name 3 flawless albums:
I. Down With Love
II.The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
III. Michael Bublé

21. Did you know that filling out this survey makes you a music geek?
W00t! Go music geeks! We rawk f0 shizzle y0!

22. What was the greatest decade for music?
I liked the disco days! So I’d say 70s! Great for dancing!

23. How many music-related videos/DVDs do you own?
The Beatles - 1
Michael Bublé - 1
Charlotte Church - 2

24. Do you like Journey?
Who?

25. Don’t try to pretend you don’t.
Er … your mom.

26. What is your favorite movie soundtrack?
Lord of the Rings, hands down. I like a lot of soundtracks & they are pretty much all I listen to. Mainly movie scores.

27. What was your last musical “phase” before you wisened up?
The NSYNC & Britney Spears & everything-pop phase. Yeah we’re not going to talk about that …

28. What’s the crappiest CD/record/etc you’ve ever bought?
The soundtrack to The Princess Bride. I thought it was going to be pretty, but it sucks. Movie is better.

29. Do you prefer vinyl or CDs?
CDs.

30. All totaled, how much do you spend on music a month?
Oh geez I’d say close to $30. I really try to watch my spending, but sometimes it can’t be helped. Especially now that I have money coming in on a regular basis.

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