AHA OMG!
When I was 13 years old, I got the BIGGEST crush ever on this guy named Adam Caplan who was 17 at the time. This guy was like my biggest crush for the longest time. I was so into this guy that I forced myself into liking Phantom of the Opera (he sang “Music [...]

Tonight I discovered that drugs have MySpace profiles…
~ Marijuana
~ Heroin
~ Crack
~ Crystal Meth
~ Cocaine
~ Opium
~ Vicodin
~ Magic Mushrooms
~ Alcohol
I found all of these courtesy of LSD’s profile. This is the funniest shit ever. Not mention Satan has a MySpace and Christianity has one too. Wanna talk to God? He’s got one too! Flippin awesome!
Becca [...]

Joshua: Oh! I almost forgot to tell you! Guess who I met today?
Me: Um… I have NO idea!
Joshua: I met… Carlos Santana!
Me: WHAT?!
Joshua: Yeah, I worked on his Mercedes!
Me: SHUT-UP! NO WAY!
Joshua: Yup!
Me: Did you get his autograph?
Joshua: No… I didn’t realize who he was at first.
Me:

I just have to say that this is the most awesome emoticon ever.

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven’t played Solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family [...]

I totally had a Dane Cook moment this morning. For those of you familiar with his experience at “The Wall” I just had a similar encounter except it was on the road and minus the, “I’ll FUCKING KILL YOU!” and add, “I’m gonna follow you around your neighborhood to yell at you!”
After dropping Joshua [...]

Cristina says:
how come I can’t see ur myspace pics
Smelly says:
cause your computers dumb…?
Smelly says:
idk i deleted a lot of pictures
Cristina says:
it’s not the computer
Cristina says:
” The user you’re trying to view has set all their photos to private.”
Cristina says:
WHAT NOW
Smelly says:
huh…i dont remember doing that
Cristina says:
well you did so fix it
Cristina says:
don’t blame it on [...]

“GUESS WHAT I GOT!!!! GUESS GUESS GUESS!!”
“Umm… A PUPPY!”
“HAH I wish! Joshua won’t let me.”
“Aw man! Why not?!!
“Because two kitties are enough.”
“True. Izzie would hate you if you got a puppy.”
“She’d be WTF?!”
“Anyways. WHAT?! Tell me!”
“Guess!”
“Umm… A CAR! A FENCE!”
“HAHAHA no. Although good guesses.”
“A WASHING MACHINE! HE PROPOSED!”
“Dude I already have a washing [...]

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and [...]

Okay who saw the fat chick wearing this shirt on American Idol tonight?

That seriously made my night!